"Mortal Online – Travel Back to the 90s" from Endgame Viable

"So what’s the bottom line? I didn’t think I would like MO for more than a day. It’s awkward to play and painfully unforgiving of mistakes. But it still beckons to me. It reminds me a lot of a 3D version of UO. There are tons of crafting and gathering possibilities. You can actually make gear that is better than loot drops (because so far, there are no loot drops except for money – none that I’ve seen, at least). You can just run in any direction and explore off the beaten path. Because pretty much anywhere outside of town is off the beaten path.

On the negative side, the graphics are not that great, especially for a title released in 2010. It’s definitely not a AAA-quality game. It’s got some bugs. The pet interface window routinely goes nuts. It’s not as bad of an interface as AC or EQ1, but it’s still heavily dependent on drag-and-drop to do things. The server seems to reboot every morning.

The big question is whether this game is worth subscribing to. On the one hand, I’d like to send the developers some money to reward them for doing something innovative (compared to modern MMOs, at least). On the other hand, I don’t particularly want to pay to get killed over and over again. I get the feeling it would be a long time before I could actually start fighting back or even running away. Everyone else has had a two-year head start, after all.

But I think it’s well worth checking out the free version.

P.S. Dear Mortal Online Developers: You cannot imagine how annoying it is to process screenshots in *BMP* format."

Read the rest of this article here. Please forgive him for not playing long enough to realise that /help chat is not Permanent 'General Chat'.


All Purpose Cultural MMORPG Joke #2

[05:22] <[AI]Casilda_Tametomo> A little Sheevra boy is helping his grandmother cook. As she's preparing the Ambrosial Raw Oats, he steals some of the flour and rubs it all over his face.

[05:23] <[Quad]Darran> I don't get it.

[05:23] <[AI]Casilda_Tametomo> Inside his hood, his little face is all white, and he smiles at her and says "Look, Grammy, I'm a little Human boy!"

His grandmother beats him down to a sliver of health, then tells him sternly that she wants him to go across town and tell his mother what he just told her.

So he does.

His mother looks up from the Fabricula, draws her weapon, and... well, she puts him into mercy mode.

[05:25] <[WSX]DreamInc> XD

[05:25] <[AI]Casilda_Tametomo> "That was the stupidest thing I ever heard a child say", she tells him, "And you just wait until your father hears it. In fact, I want you to go tell him *right now*."

[05:25] <[Omni]Azarah> and then?

[05:26] <[AI]Casilda_Tametomo> So when he recovers enough to walk, he staggers over to where his father is picking someone's pocket. Or trying to. He tells his father what his mother told him to tell to him, and waits.

He doesn't wait long.

[05:27] <[Omni]Azarah> his father snoops the little sheevra boys pockets and runs away

[05:27] <[AI]Casilda_Tametomo> His father beats him to death with his bare hands, telling him, as he does so, "When you get back from the Priest, I want you to come here and tell me what you have *learned*, today."

[05:27] <[Omni]Azarah> my ending was better

[05:27] <[AI]Casilda_Tametomo> So the little boy does; he resurrects at the Priest, and runs back over to where his father is waiting. "Well", he says, "I've learned one thing today, father."


"I've only been Human for half an hour, and I *already* HATE you fucking Sheevra!"


To Serve Mankind

The Draft of a Book I'd like to publish 'in' Mortal Online:

Actual Title: Eaters Of The Dead ²

Authoress: Lorena To'Biath, Huergar Cook

Inscription: Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc ³

Introduction: ⁴

Envy not the enemy
we leave for the the talons of the ravens
and the teeth of wolves

The thirsty ground shall drink his blood,
the wistful rain wash his corpse,
and the wandering wind waft his soul away.

The blackest birds, the scaffold-scavenging
carrion crow, the voracious vulture
swooping down shall feast and fatten
on the marrow of his misbegotten bones.

Mushrooms, morels and mould
shall grow fat in some damp depression
where we leave lying his lost limbs,
his burdensome offal to rot.

For the bones of a man are the bars
to the prison of his flesh
for the punishment of his soul
and so we free who slay him

And by butchery set at liberty the spirit of the foe.
No small boon we grant the the wight
whose life we end, and then flense freely
the flesh unfestered

The sinew tough and soft meat sweet
of corpse once man, to furnish forth
the feasts of honour, valuing
the vanquished as food for the victors.

-- Translated from the Kallard.

Contents: Cannibalistic recipes for culinary delights made from humanoid flesh (Irminae, Jotuni, etc.).

Such foods already exist in-game in primitive forms, but we must have Awakening before we can produce books, or rename recipes to suit ourselves. Items that might be included:

Primordial Soupie Soup:
Main ingredient may be rare and hard to find.

Stir-Fried Kaos:
Nothing personal. I don't even know him.

Thief's Head Sushi:
Already on the menu at a bridge near you.

Braised Veela Cutlets:


Unicorn Meat:
(Caution: may contain pieces of Unicorn Hooves)
And, finally, and in keeping with Mortal Online's full-frontal sensibility, dessert, for those brave souls not afraid to touch it:


Thursar sausage grilled in Thursar skin and hidden in a pudding of corn flour; with a garnish of Twig and Firmwood Berries.

¹ Ultimate line of dialogue from the classic "To Serve Man" TV episode of The Twilight Zone (1962)
² Hommage to the novel Eaters Of The Dead: The Manuscript of Ibn Fadlan, Relating His Experiences With The Northmen, A.D. 922, by Michael Crichton; the basis for the movie The 13th Warrior (1999).
³ Mock-Latin motto of The Addams Family: "We gladly feast upon those who would subdue us."
Alliterative verse, no less, "Kallard"-style.


Gates of Meduli

From the poem by James Elroy Flecker ~ found here ~

  FOUR great gates has the city of Damascus
       And four Great Wardens, on their spears reclining,
    All day long stand like tall stone men
       And sleep on the towers when the moon is shining.

This is the song of the East Gate Warden
When he locks the great gate and smokes in his garden.

Postern of Fate, the Desert Gate, Disaster's Cavern, Fort of Fear,
The Portal of Bagdad am I, and Doorway of Diarbekir. 
The Persian Dawn with new desires may net the flushing mountain spires:
But my gaunt buttress still rejects the suppliance of those mellow fires. 
Pass not beneath, O Caravan, or pass not singing. Have you heard
That silence where the birds are dead yet something pipeth like a bird? 
Pass not beneath! Men say there blows in stony deserts still a rose
But with no scarlet to her leaf--and from whose heart no perfume flows. 
Wilt thou bloom red where she buds pale, thy sister rose? Wilt thou not fail
When noonday flashes like a flail? Leave nightingale the caravan! 
Pass then, pass all! "Bagdad!" ye cry, and down the billows of blue sky
Ye beat the bell that beats to hell, and who shall thrust you back? Not I. 
The Sun who flashes through the head and paints the shadows green and red,--
The Sun shall eat thy fleshless dead, O Caravan, O Caravan! 
And one who licks his lips for thirst with fevered eyes shall face in fear
The palms that wave, the streams that burst, his last mirage, O Caravan! 
And one--the bird-voiced Singing-man--shall fall behind thee, Caravan!
And God shall meet him in the night, and he shall sing as best he can. 
And one the Bedouin shall slay, and one, sand-stricken on the way
Go dark and blind; and one shall say--"How lonely is the Caravan!" 
Pass out beneath, O Caravan, Doom's Caravan, Death's Caravan!
I had not told ye, fools, so much, save that I heard your Singing-man.
~ ~ ~

This pretty much describes, in effect, every way there is out of Meduli, as well.

Necro Sig

Assume the end is always the goal. The path to this goal is the way you go. Now think about it, life is the way you go and death is where it ends. So what's wrong with this little devotion to the dead, when it's all humans goal to reach?

Year in and year out, an outstanding signature that isn't some dumb song quote or obscure LOL-baggery.


Out With The Old Tools, In With The New

The original or old-school pickaxe, and worn short sword, both pictured below:
Tools, Old and New, In Mortal Online
They have been replaced by, also shown, the Axe and the Pickaxe, and by the "new" Worn Shortsword sold by Utility Vendors everywhere (sold at the same price as the tools they replaced: 1 silver).

    Things to Note:
  • The new Axe is also a weapon, which the Old Pickaxe is not.
  • The new Worn Short Sword has a different icon in inventory, but I have not noticed any between its appearance and that of the old one, in-game.
  • The old Pickaxe has a different icon in inventory and a different skin in-game than either of its replacements.
  • The old Pickaxe was used for both mining and woodchopping.
  • The old versions are tradable, but "blessed", meaning they respawn with you upon death. The new Axe, at least, does not.
  • "Blessed" though they are, the old implements are still subject to loss of durability and will eventually disappear with enough use.
  • None of the older versions weigh anything, which allowed one to carry as many as would fit in inventory.